BF 2012 Anchor Leg

I simply live for You

Say the word and I will sing for You
Over oceans deep, I will follow
If each star was a song
And every breath of wind, praise
It would still fail by far to say
All my heart contains
I simply live, I simply live for You

Chorus:
As the glory of Your presence
Now fills this place
In worship, we will meet You face to face
There is nothing in this world
To which You can be compared
Glory on glory, praise upon praise
You bind the broken hearted
And save all my tears
By Your word, You set the captives free
There is nothing in this world
That You cannot do
I simply live, I simply live for You

What a powerful svc this weekend! I just love the convictions that Pastors preach with, the belief and faith in God. Esther 4:14 says, “For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” I truly believe in my heart this message as well.. God will definitely raise someone up if you refuse your calling. His Will be done no matter what. What an amazing revelation of the fear of God. This weekend is such a significant weekend. Whenever i hear the song, I simply live for You, i get so touched by what God is doing in this world, tears will roll down my cheeks uncontrollably. This is the kind of relationship with God. Its an amazing union between God and Man, with the gap bridged by the Cross.

Glory on glory, praise upon praise. Really, the Holy Spirit has been so real in my life, my heart is set to follow Him for the days of my life.. Over oceans deep i will follow. Nothing can express my love and gratitude for Him.. Today, yy shared that he heard God’s voice in his life. And i was so moved when i heard him share.. Im so confident that yy’s heart will be set for Jesus no matter where he goes, and no matter how far he is from us, there will always be a space in my heart that is specially for him.. And i pray, with utmost sincerity and the bottom of my heart, that God be with him throughout his days, and when the Holy Spirit comes, i pray that he will receive power to move lives and spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. God, anoint his hands and his hearts, that whatever he touches will turn to gold, that whatever he speaks will fall on open hearts. What drastic changes in just 9 months.. God is truly an amazing God.. Heaven and earth may fade away, but my love for God will always remain. And i pray that Yy will never leave You, and You will never leave him.

As i sang through worship, i began to recall all the grace God has poured upon my life.. And i know that i’ve been called for greater things in this life. I pray that faith will begin to arise in my heart, to run this race with a fire like never before. I can feel it.. This fire is igniting again.. All things shall be done through Christ. If not now, then when? If not I, then who? I begin to see a whole generation of Kingdom Builders, men with teachable spirits and open hearts, men who will catch the visions of pastors and leaders.

Nothing in this world matters anymore.. There is a greater cause to be accomplished, a greater race to run, a greater battle to be fought. I begin to cast aside all distractions in my life. Jesus is whom i live for, what i live for, and what i will always live for. Say the Word, Jesus, and i will sing for You.. Thank you Jesus for reminding me yet again why i have come so far in You. Thank you for reminding me how real You are. It is in the deepest desires of my heart that You will use me mightily in Your Kingdom, to be part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood that will reveal to this world more of You. God, bless these hands that are willing to toil for You.

This is only the beginning of the sweet smell of freedom. Friends, seek God and love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. You will never regret this decision. This is what my God can do for me, and He can do the same and even greater things for you.

There is nothing in this world that You cannot do, I simply live for You.

I love You, Jesus.

AMT

OMGOSH I JUST SAW I SAVED THIS ON DRAFT LOL. SO IMPORTANT POST HAHA! OKIE BACKDATE TO AMT, DECEMBER 6-7!!

Oh yeah!! Gonna buy my first guitar that i can own and use this thursday with Alton!! Excited man. And he told me got sales!! Yay. I love bargains la. haha. I really really hope i can make it there, although theres laser tag on thursday as well haha.

Pst Steve Munsey is so cool! Haha. I like Friday’s sermon alot alot! Look into the mirror, never forget ourselves! Yes, ill never forget myself! I belong to God! But of course, i like Pastor How the best! Sat sermon is one of the best sermons ever! I feel so privileged to be part of his church! He is really an amazing spiritual father. I really missed him alot when he went for his sabbatical the past few weeks. To be able to see him again and hear him preach to the church, i was overjoyed. I really dont want him to go off again. But haha, i think he needs to let the other leaders rise up in church to take charge!

There were many good news this weekend! I saw frm twitter that the CEG broke through to 202! Woah. It seemed like a few months ago when we were just breaking through 100! The team of CGLs/PCGLs is really powerful. They truly make things happen. While many CGs brokethrough, my CG’s attendance was about the same. haha. I feel kind of.. apologetic? haha. Its quite a lousy feeling actually. But it was just on Saturday when Pastor How said this,” The greatest destiny killing thought is “I have tried my best, and my best is not good enough. So i give up.”” Haha. Although im never going to give up, i just feel that im not doing enough haha. i really need to do so many more things to support the cg.. but haha. ill have faith!

Haha last weekend, i kind of taught henry, zhongyi and isaiah on some basics of guitar! haha. i think they are really inspired to learn more! haha. It feels really good to be able to impart my knowledge to them! But more than just me teaching them, they really made me v v encouraged when they said that i played well! haha. And we just worshipped God with Lord i give you my heart. The feeling of leading others to worship and worshipping on my own is entirely different!! One day, i will lead many people to the Presence of God. It will come to past. On monday night, i went to Eugenes house to stayover and chill haha. And i brought my guitar along again, and taught him how to play Who Am I! He really likes this song haha. And i took the trouble to bring my guitar and go to his house to teach him leh haha.

Thursday

Whoa. i just bought my new guitar!! I went with Alton to buy new guitar! I went to City Guitarshop to look for a guitar, and i saw a Rosewood Customs guitar, and its at 228 dollars!! It was a steal haha. Alton said it too! And the sound was so nice and whole. I tried the others but they were not what i was looking for. After that, we went to a Taylor guitar shop. The sound of those guitars were incredible man. So nice!!! But each one costed a few thousand lol. But  it was really very very clear. When i went back to City guitar shop, every guitar sounded quite bad in comparison to the taylor guitars haha. But i still bought a Customs guitar! So glad that i bought my first personal guitar! It will be my inspiration to practice even harder!! : )

Had AMT on tuesday and wednesday. Woah it was.. awesome!! Tiring but awesome. My eyes were opened to how strong the church is!! There are actually so many zai young people doing so much in church haha. They really built atmosphere at a whole new level! So loud and responsive!! Its amazing. But the tests really made me kind of worried haha. I slept for a 25min, and after that 40min interval for the entire night! haha. Amazing i could last till the following day 7pm! Between 6am-10am, i was very tired! But after the first test, i was totally awake haha. And esp after peijun smsed us to encourage us! haha. But it was amazing to see so many people rising up in church to take charge haha. If every CG had people who rose to that level, its gonna be an incredible church! Haha, but i was kinda upset with myself bah. I wore slippers for it. omg. i met bai at about 6.40pm at singpost, then i saw that he dressed rather formally. then i was like. oh crap. Its really my mistake and my fault.. I was kind of down the first day, but i encouraged myself in God! : ) God is really good to me haha. And i kind of prayed until my flesh was killed throughout alr haha. And the verse on “out of the belly shall flow living waters” was kind of a revelation to me! I could practically feel something stirring inside me! haha. hmm, and during Fifi’s session, she asked us to pray for a new generation of people who will be able to rise up in the CG, and delson came into my mind! haha. He can definitely do more for God! : )

After AMT, we went for outing, and wow nina can really draw!! So zai hahah. She will be an added strength to jasmine’s team, to the CG! : ) Im so looking forward to greater things that will be done! 10 girls, 15 guys! Lets really make things come to past! : ) Just 1 more nf from each of us haha. Not difficult right.. :)

Today was laser tag! I really really prayed for marcus to be integrated and for him to be open!! So glad he made so many friends today haha. I believe he will come for svc this sunday! He will!! And woah, he is val cheong’s classmate!! The super zai evangelist!! haha. Even God is for us, who can be against us! No devil shall be able to overcome, God is in control!! Breakthrough!! haha. The phrase, “We dont use people to build the church, but we use the church to build people!” came to me as a revelation too! haha. So inspired. Haha.

I really need to bring my mother to church!! So many things she need to change, and for her to be saved!! I shall be aggressive! This christmas! She will come!! The devil cannot have his way any longer!!

I really love this song, Come Holy Spirit. As i began to sing the song during AMT, tears just flowed down within seconds as i began to sing. The lyrics really mean my heart.. Not by my power, but by the power of the Holy Spirit. From the Scripture memory verse, Acts 1:8 says “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all of Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” Yes, Holy Spirit, come upon me in power, i shall be witness to You, to the end of the earth.

Come Holy Spirit.

Come holy spirit fall on me now
I need your anointing
Come in your power
I love you holy spirit
You’re captivating my soul
And every day i grow to love you more

I’m reaching for your heart
You hold my life in your hand
Drawing me closer to you
I feel your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where i can see you face to face
I worship you in spirit and in truth

CNY 2012!!

hmmm. haha Chinese New year! couple of things i wanna talk about! Haha its been 1 week away from svc, and i still make the same stand after all these years. Without going Svc even for a single week, everything feels different.. Hmm, right now, i feel lighter.. I feel more lazy.. less burdened.. less tied? And i feel more family orientated, less church orientated. Hmm. But i still love God no matter what.

My aunt really loves me alot haha. So happy to have her.. I asked her this question, “Do you pray for us often?” And she said she prays for my dad and his family every week when she goes to church.. And she has been a catholic for 20-30 years? Even before i was brought to this earth, i already have the blessed hand of God upon my life. That was where all my strength came from, my anointing from God. Its amazing.. I finally know why God is so good to me. Its not because of what i did for myself, its because of what God did through my aunt for me. This is indeed generational blessings! And i was just telling my mom and bro, that us 3 brothers are very lucky! haha. For the amount of studying we do, we are definitely over achieving! I really think that my dad passed down his intelligence genes to us! My aunt is a lawyer, my uncle is an accountant, i have a cousin who is a lawyer also, and my elder bro is a doctor.. All from my dad’s side. And the family has only like 6 ppl haha. Its definitely not coincidental. Happy to be in this privileged family! But my bro says that we gain more IQ genetically, but lost in terms of EQ lol. And he said that God is always fair lol. So funny. But nevertheless, im still glad of all that i have and been given.

On ChuYi night, i just felt the Holy Spirit so strongly, and i began to pray and pray to God. The Presence of God was just lingering all around.. And that was when i knew i had to began to pray for many things. So I prayed and prayed for many many things haha. I just love intimate moments like these with God. And as i prayed, i already knew my prayers were gonna come true bit by bit. Because God was practically there listening to all that i was telling Him. Haha.

Hmm, this weekend there was no church svc! I really spent alot of time with my family, my relatives, and its been so long since i really spent quality time w them! Eat and Eat and Eat only hahahah. They cook soo delicious food can lol. So generous. Every dish is at least 40 dollars.. Or even more in a restaurant. lol. Its like a buffet of homecook food. Abundance in abundance. And i was reminded of all the love and things i did before i went to church. haha. But i know that God will always be above all. Always. He has given me such grace.. Amazing grace. Thankful for what a wonderful fellowship He has given me on this world. Haha. But i would never want the burden God has given me to ever leave me. Haha.

But more than just all these, something really special happened to me on thursday. God told me something, and it completely clashed with what i wanted to do.. God really tested me.. Its kind of unconvenient to say it over here haha. But the voice of God was just so powerful. I can still recall the exact fear i have today. And throughout chinese new year, the same consistent voice kept telling me to stop doing. But unfortunately, i gave in. So weak right haha. But my head and my heart would just not clique together. And i was reading proverbs, and this verse spoke to me, “The heart knows its own bitterness. And a stranger does not share its joy.” Haha so true. God was telling me to not do something i wanted to do.. I told john about it haha. And yeah! i feel much better. Ready to fight new battles everyday. This is by far the greatest test from God. I just pray for strength. Haha. God, lead me. But one thing i must say, i really refused to believe that God was telling me to stop doing it.. I tried to lie to myself. But i know, it is God’s will. And i made a decision to put God first. God will always be first. On the other hand, i was quite thankful that God spoke to me haha, albeit something i did not want to hear. But oh well, Hes God, im not. Rough times are ahead, daniel. Brace on. But thankfully, this battle will only get easier day by day. Haha. Im ready, bring it.

Hmm today during lunch, my mom told me that my nanny is coming to my house to bai nian, with her daughter! haha. So long since i saw them.. 1year? haha. She really loves me leh. she took care of me from birth to 6 years old.. My parents said they owe alot to her.. Haha. And today, when i finally turned 21, they told me something shocking.. When i was 6 mnths old, my nanny’s husband whom she loved got a heart attack, and because my nanny had to wait for my parents to rush over to take care of me, she was delayed in sending her husband to the hospital.. And her husband passed away.. I heard it i was so shocked.. Before i even knew about my existence, something so big happened to the people around me.. My nanny fell into depression, and my mom had to change babysitter. But the new babysitter treated me v badly, and apparently my butt was rotting because of it lol. So my mom begged my nanny to take care of me, and although still under depression, she agreed. And im really thankful for it.. And apparently, they really believed in me, gave me their best, loved me like their own child. They used to compare me and my elder bro, saying that im less privileged all those, and because of it, they loved me even more. When i left for home after 6 years, they were really heartbrokened.. So many people loved me leh. Haha. So many things people did for me, but never asked for their deserved rewards.. I would think that my nanny would judge me for indirectly causing her husband’s death, but she loved me like her own child.. Amazing.. I was brought up in such an environment of love. God was watching me all these while.. I still recall many horrible things i said to my dad when i was still ignorant, and he wanted to throw me into the dustbin lol. And the wonderful memories of my giant aeroplane scooter that i sit around my house, and the childhood songs i listened to. And the stairs i always climbed up and down to try different stunts. i loved my giant aeroplane scooter leh. Really ttm lol. And i remember once while running to the kitchen, i slipped and fell because i didnt know they mopped the floor. Then i cried like mad lol. And my grandma came and sayanged me. So vivid memories. I was so privileged and loved.. Haha. All that i have, i give to You, God. I lift up all things to You. God has made everything beautiful in its time, yet man cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to the end. Trust in God. He knows it all.. What a perfect fellowship..

Love God alot. ; )

How i fell in love with.. Africa (by Marianne Hui)

After today, im even more convicted and convinced that i want to serve the Lord and Saviour for the rest of my life..

Today has got to be the highlight of my week. In the morning, i finished writing my Essay for SUTD, and it looks great! I wrote from my heart, unlike many other essays, which i try to use flowery language all. But this one, it seemed rather unimportant to me, and so, i decided to just speak the truth, who i exactly am, what i love. And it looks great, not because of the way i wrote it, but because i spoke right out from my heart. It was real, and it felt great.

I then proceeded to have my job interview! And i couldnt believe i spoke so well haha. She said i had the gift to be a promoter!! haha. But isnt that what they tell everyone.. But nevertheless, i was thankful to God and hogc for teaching me to smile and allowing me to smile in my life! :)

After the interview, i aimlessly landed up in kinokuniya, and i chanced on a great book by John C Maxwell on leadership! I flipped to the content page, and saw a chapter on positional leadership, and i read on it! It must have been God who showed me this. I read and read, and i could feel certain pricks and thorns being removed from my heart and soul. I definitely err-ed to some degree, but i knew that i could still turn and walk towards the light. Im called to serve.

And finally at night, was the highlight of my week! Im just so excited that im going to skip everything else that happened!! I da-baoed long johns originally, but after going for a few bus rides, i landed up at the same long johns, and sat down to eat and read. I found a dream seat at the corner of the outlet, and unpacked the food and my bible and read my BRP! BRP was great! I was originally kind of frustrated, but i found peace as i read on. And i began to think, these words could definitely change the lives of people! It was just so real and faithfilled. Proverbs 3-4 talked about wisdom and what we ought to do. I just love times like these, when the peace of God comes into me, and i just sit down without any worries, and just know more about God!

After reading Proverbs, i just felt like taking out Mariannes book from my bag, how i fell in love with Africa. I dont know why i packed it in my bag earlier today, but i knew i just had to start reading it! And as i read on, i was so so amazed at what God is doing in this world with other people!! As i read, i was just so happy at what i was reading!! I never loved reading this much until today.. And i must must must share some things from page 1-24 of what i read!!

Okay number 1! Marianne and Co. missed the train to their destinations, and were stranded at the train station!! And Matthew(another missionary) took out his guitar and started playing Blessed be Your name! I read it i was like YES!! This is the kind of spontaneity Christians need to have!! At every moment, honor and praise God with all that you have, with all that you are!! I would be SO happy to be in that group, giving God all that we are, even during our spare time!! If i were there, i would be overjoyed. God deserves much more than we give to Him these days..

Number 2! (Pg20) “Talking on the streets here is so different from doing so in Singapore. People at home either dont stop for surveyors,  or just politely say no while running for their lives, but people here are so open to carry on conversations with you and even talk about God in shopping malls!” Wow!! What amazing work that can be done in other parts of the world!! In Singapore, theres such a wrapped mindset about people approaching you.. Everyone is generalised as takers. I really wish to be able to share about God’s love to everyone on the street!! But in Singapore, street evangelism is just not productive. And the book wrote that at every crowded place, they would be looking out to reach to other people, the homeless, the hungry and all. What amazing things they are doing!!

Number 3!(Pg23) Marianne’s talking about people walking over miles just to go to the church to take food and maize just so that they can fill their stomachs for a few days, and that maize isnt even nutritious for people to eat on every meal.. And she said she rushed to the toilet, broke down and cried out to God. And at the end of the chapter, she said “That day, I prayed that this burden would never go away - that i would always have a heart for the homeless, and that He would show me what I can do for them.” Today, Marianne, God is showing you what you can do for them! To give them the gift of salvation, to share God’s love! What an amazing heart.. This is exactly what i told God before!!! I told God, “God, a few days ago, i asked You to remove all burdens from me, and i felt so lost.. And today during svc, i ask You, to put this burden back in me.” And i began to wept, and my heart turned heavy. And from that day onwards, i made a firm resolute in my heart, that the burden for the lost would never leave me again.. And today, reading what Marianne wrote, I was just so touched that she made the exact prayer i did months back.. Never allow this burden to leave you!! Your heart must ALWAYS be for the lost!!

And lastly, Pg(4) Marianne mentioned that she chose to take a gap year instead of going to the universities before studying was because she was afraid she would fall in love, get married to a man who didnt share her heart for missions, and that she would never be able to do it ever again.. What an amazing woman who knows her priorities!! Yes!! Master, Mission, Mate!! I would be so upset as well if i get married to someone who didnt share my heart for the lost.. God has called everything to be perfect in His time!! Keep crying out to God, seek Him with all your heart. Your life will be changed for ever!!

Marianne deserves a BIG honor in this blog. Her story is going to transformed many lives!! How she made a decision to put God first in her life, her realness towards giving and sharing God’s love. She has such a deep revelation of God’s word.. We need more people like her!!!! Seek God with a genuine heart, God will transform your life forever!!

I’m speaking to this mountain
to move into the ocean
with Your authority
given to me
No matter what happens
Here I am standing
on the hope of Your Word
promised to me.

There is hope in this nation. God, use us as only You can. What an honor to know You, God.. What an honor..

Your Name High

You gave what the world couldnt offer us.

Say what they want, say what they want.

We are free!!

Haha. The smell of Jesus is just so awesome. I really feel like hugging God sometimes.. Haha. Wow. God is truly amazing.. His promises never fail. God, I will always remember our covenant we made. As long as i fight sin and deny myself, every weekend will be a weekend of breakthrough. Why are You so real.. You leave me no choice except to depend solely and wholly on You, to turn away from sin, and embrace the Light. I will never ever succumb again, because Jesus, You are the Truth, the Life, the Way.. Such victory in my hands, only because of Jesus. Really, everyone of us MUST have a taste and experience of this victory in God! Your life will be transformed!! :)

Hmm did quite alot of things this weekend! Kind of like what im doing!! haha. I smsed ALOT of people to pull them closer to the CG, and shared so many things with people! : ) haha. Im really excited for whats to come in the future!! : ) Seeing everyone in the CG becoming planted in church and growing closer, it really makes me v v happy.. God is just so amazing.. I wanna highlight some things that happened that im still super amazed about!! haha.

First thing, i wanna talk about my awesome bro, eugene! haha. I can really see the conviction in his eyes.. This fire is hardly found elsewhere. Im really amazed at what God is doing with his life. He is gonna be used greatly by God.. I can see a certain degree of closeness to God in him, the trust in God.. Haha. Im just really glad that my bro has grown so much these few days!! I still remember the time i went to his house to stayover last month! haha. And in just 1 month, he has grown to become such a church builder. Something is stirring in this great man. The power inside of him is being revealed in a great measure. God, begin to use him to and grow him. Put him through tests and trials, the future ahead of him is going to be amazing. Real man.

And i just wanna talk about service this weekend! Pastor How preached such a mindblowing sermon.. Im so so glad that jerrold came today!! And he came on time! haha. He definitely loves the peace of God. I know he has a revelation of the peace of God. I felt something stir today. I could feel the Presence of God lingering in our midst. I just pray, that jerrold will keep coming back to svc, and be planted in church! Im really really happy for him! : ) You know, i really prayed to God last night, and i rarely pray at 2am on a Saturday night.. i told God, God, i pray that tomorrow, jerrold and charles’s nf will begin to come for svc on time, i pray for open hearts, and so on and on. And God really moved.. Im just amazed by all that He is.. Who am i that deserves His answer to my prayers? Benjamin(charles’s nf) really liked svc! I asked him immediately after svc, how was svc! and he said not bad, and he even stayed for Lynette’s celebration! : ) haha. This victory from God, it can never be found anywhere else! And i texted him earlier, and he said he should be coming for svc 2 weeks later!! When we pray, God really moves.. Amazing.

This morning, i woke up at 10.30am, rather early considering i slept so late haha. I woke up and i just felt such a strong desire to play my guitar and worship God. You know, im growing to be really sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I know when the Presence of God is here, I know when theres no anointing.. And from this heart of a servant, i shall build my fortress upon. Im going to lead many people into the Presence of God. I just know it. Nothing is going to stop me.

Haha. Lastly, i just wanna give honor to this amazing man.. He is such a real friend. More than a companion. A brother in Christ. He is my bro forever, Bai. I just love doing life with him. Such a servant hearted person, always willing to go the extra mile, always making things happen. He is such a great support to the CG. I know he has a revelation of things that are eternal, and things that will rust and fade away on this earth. He sows into the things unseen. I really love having him around.. He is real to things he knows he cannot do, yet faithful to what is given to him. How can you find a man like that!! He never tries anything funny, because he has a revelation of heaven and hell. What a real man.. God, i just pray You begin to honor this man. Anoint this man with Your authority.

What a great week. Saw my elder bro in church today too! I just feel rather upset that many people, who have experienced the love of God, is giving up such victory in Him for worldly desires. I will never forsake God. Where would i ever go? Only He has the words to eternal life. God, begin to hear the cries of Your servant. Change my heart, cleanse me of all unrighteousness. This year, i pray, for 30.

A Presence of God.

I just really love God. I have no other purpose here except to tell God how truly i am in awe of Him.. Heaven and Earth may fade away, but Your words shall not pass away. Indeed, Your words will stay on in my heart, in this world till the end of times.

I just feel so led to dwell in the Presence of God. How awesome is this place.. I mean, the Presence of God can just simply take away every other need in this earth. I dont need people anymore, i dont need this world anymore, i only need God. God is just so real. Its these moments of my life where i feel that im such a fortunate son, to be called back to His embrace despite all that i have done and become. But God says, have you not known, that I have never really left you? I know God, that you have indeed been with me. Theres really a burden in my heart, that only God understands. Im glad i can always turn to Him for greater strength. I just pray, God, begin to bless these hands of Your servant, that he may begin to turn to gold whatever he touches. I pray, God, that at the sound of Your name, all things on earth will begin to tremble in godly fear. All things will begin to surrender itself to You. Your will be done on this earth.

And as i begin to approach Your throne of grace, Your hand of righteousness always hold me tightly, i never have to fear anything. I finally have a genuine revelation of the peace of God in my life. Father, empower my hands. You know my heart, You know my will. Today, begin to move.

SoW Graduation

haha. this weekend was amazing. I just missed Svc and seeing the leadership in the church so much. There is a peace whenever i see them around me.. I feel like im ready to conquer anything. They give me faith. :)

Today was SoW graduation, and they played heart of a servant during worship! Im super in love with this song now haha. But besides that, i got a miserable 55% for SoW. Kinda upset with myself for performing below what i know i could have done. But it must be part of God’s plan, and nevertheless, i will still give Him praise! They talked about a stricter criteria for entry into SoW this year, and they said its for those people who feel that they have a greater calling in worship. Haha. im definitely going to apply for level 2. Im made to worship, although i got a 55% lol. I just know it. Begin to anoint these hands, God. These are the hands of a servant.

Hmm this weekend, i just felt rather troubled inside. There is something serious thats missing.. There was no breakthrough although the Presence of God was lingering. Im more and more inclind to believe, the problem lies with a lack of unity. Its the sound of agreement thats lacking. We need to be at ONE again!

Visions of 2012.

Haha. I am well again. Excellent remedy. God is God the Healer. I really love the Presence of God..

Over the past few days, i have been spiritually ill and physically ill. Its amazing how both of these things came together.. Its as though the Spirit controls the flesh, and through this amazing encounter, i realised just how easily taken over the flesh can be, if the Spirit is strong. Really, theres only a spiritual warfare. The fleshly warfare is just secondary. I wonder how many people have wasted so much strength trying to fight themselves, when God has sent the Holy Spirit to aid us in all things. There is nothing to fear.

And as i began to be healed spiritually through revelations and worship, i began to recover physically too. I still remember yesterday or 2 days ago, when i took my afternoon nap because i felt really feverish, i dreamt of the Cross. I dreamt of the Cross.. Yes, our God is a God of healing. The image of the Cross came into my head, and i was still stuck in dreamland and was kind of blur as to what was happening. And i woke up a while later, only to find myself perspiring slightly, and my temperature had dropped. I felt so much better! And i remembered my dream, and gave thanks to God for all things. He is truly my King and Saviour. Nothing can ever separate me from Him. What am i without grace. Its not by strength, its not by might, but by the Cross we’re justified. The Cross is really powerful… A free gift of grace.

After countdown in church last saturday, i just felt so led to pray and pray, and give my first few moments towards 2012 to God. And i headed home straight after countdown to bath and to pray before heading out. I just really wanted to give my first moments towards 2012 to God.. If i could, i would worship Him forever.. I prayed strong for 20min, and i unknowingly stumbled upon these 2 words. Stability and Surprises. But somehow, i just feel that theres something else i need to know.. The Spirit is prompting me something else i need to proclaim, but i cant get it out of my belly. Just a bit more.. I know it. Just a bit more.. Yest, i was worshipping God with my guitar in the afternoon and unknowingly, i worshipped for almost 2 hours.. I just felt myself breakthrough.. I used to struggle with groove and rhythm, but after googling and practicing, i know what i’ve been doing wrong. I just need more practice now. But more than that, i worshipped God with this song, Heart of a Servant. Its such a beautiful song. My eyes set on You, in this race that i run. No longer my ways, let Your will be done. Make me a servant my hearts ever true. Clinging to the Cross i’ll follow You.. I’ll follow You.. Really God, these past few days, you have really revealed to me so harshly.. Its never about the title. Its never about the recognition. Its never about the honour or glory. Its all about having You in my life, and i surrender myself to You in servantship, because I cannot live without Your grace. Theres nothing more i ask for, God, than just being able to be in Your Presence, serving You, and using my gift of evangelism to reach out to my friends. I read the cards from all the friends i brought to church, and they have changed so much, and they are so thankful that i brought them to church.. I was just over the moon. I mean, i spent almost 1year, growing all these lives, sharing with them about God, about church culture, loving them.. Theres no greater joy than to see them changing, reciprocrating their thankfulness.. I just wish to tell them, the same love you felt from the church and from God, use it to love others! Really, DL60, you are ready to hold 25. Leaders, rise up and take charge! Keep loving the sheep. Believe in them, build them. Nobody started out a leader; we exist to build others. People keep saying, invite more new friends!! But i would say, build up more regulars!! Regulars hold the pillars of the CG, and if we dont have enough pillars, how do we shelter the sheep!! Really, i feel it can be solved like a maths problem. Its similar to a chicken and egg theory, but vastly different too. In a chicken and egg theory, we dont know which came first, but in this case we know, new friends come, they get planted, they bring in more new friends! Technically, the way we should see it is =>bring new friends, they get planted! But really, its still a regular that originally brought the new friend to church to get planted!! There may be some anomalies whereby integrations/nf bring more nf, but only because they are really v close friends! For the average friend that comes to church, we need to plant him before we can inspire him to bring new friends! If they dont even have a revelation of grace, how will they ever bring a friend! And during the leaders meeting w jieru, in the excel sheet i saw on the screen, the ratio of new friends to regulars were almost 1:1 for every CG! And this was how they multiplied! Every regular, 1 nf! Integrations who bring new friends will be considered good ints! But the responsibility of bringing friends should ultimately lie with regulars! Ints are still ints whether good or not! The power of followup is really really strong!! Rise up more leaders! Every int must go through followup ASAP while the hunger is still there! Ride on the calling!

Today was running man, and i won running man! Lisa gave me a free drink of Starbucks as a prize for winning! But one thing that really shook me was when i was pinned down to the floor by john because i agitated him. I tried to resist, but i was completely helpless. I struggled to break free, but i was so trapped and pinned, and i lay on the floor flat, and i looked up to john’s face, and it was intimidating(although he was smiling). Intimdating not because of him, but because i was helpless to do anything by myself at that point. That is the power of the Devil in a person’s life. What a wonderful experience. To be pinned down helplessly. The Spirit man must come alive!! Or there will be something stuck that will never budge unless you are ready to lift the load off. But more than just a revelation of building Spiritual muscles, i began to think, looks like i need some physical muscles too. This is definitely not going to do permanently, to be defeated every single time we wrestle. One day, I will break free.

Lastly, I just want to talk about CG dynamics. Today, i hanged out with DL4, and i began to look at how they do things in the CG, and it was incredible. What a strong leadership and growing capacity! Each of the leaders have injected the kind of CG they want to have into their members, and every member is growing to be like the leaders. Its a marvelous display of CG dynamics. I was completely impressed. But more than that, i began to recall what Jieru asked me after my BMT during the interview. What kind of CG do you want in the future? It was such a crucial question.. With the help of Peijun, i began to recall what i said.

What kind of cg do i want to have?

Close in friendship

Every individual has a intimate relationship with God and is God centered.

When we come together and pray, the power of God is in our midst, everyone feels the same.

Others-centered- we are not self absorbed in our own world

Spiritually connected- we know anytime who is facing problems and carry the same burden.

Effective in evangelism and integration.

Has the DNA of heart of God church and running with Pastor’s vision

Has same vision to do great things for God now and in the future.

A CG that loves praying and worshipping- interested in spiritual things.

Favour with men.

I dont know if its what Peijun wants in the CG, or what i wanted though. But its definitely what im becoming more and more of, and what i hope the rest of the CG would become. I thank God for His grace.

Last last last thing, earlier today, i hanged out with my jc classmates! And they were kind of fun!! haha. every one of them adds to the atmosphere! The more the merrier!! And they began to talk about this eye candy i had last time, and all the things i said before last time, and it began to struck me how much i changed ever since i recommited my life to Jesus. All the things i used to say, i havent said them for such a long time.. Definitely more than a year already.. My lifestyle has been completely transformed! They began to tease me and all, but i was so secure in myself, i began to laugh them all off, and admitted all the silly things i’ve done in the past. If it were me then, i would have emo-ed the entire night! I thank God for the grace. My life is changed. I wanna be with You, i wanna be with You.

My Carnality..

Today, i didnt call in for huddle.. I overslept.. And right now.. i just feel terrible and horrible..

I woke up and i saw the clock.. 11.08pm. And my heart immediately sank.. Its 12am now. Im plagued. I’ve been crying for 52min..

I just feel terrible.. This feeling. So unfamiliar.. I’ve never been this brokened..

I took out my guitar, and frantically flipped through my entire book of guitar chord scores that i’ve printed, and none of them could describe how i feel. I began to sing Glorified, but the Holy Spirit wasnt with me. I prayed really really hard.. But it just seemed like a split second that i lost everything.. I’ve lost faith in myself, i’ve lost self-confidence, self edification. I’ve lost all worthiness. I’ve lost the Presence of God in my life. But i kept praying and worshipping, but there was no annointing of God. I was walking down a path of destruction.

And the song, Worthy came into my mind. Could it be, you’re in control.. I really didnt meant to even sleep.. I used to think of this worship song as telling God, that He is worthy.. But today, God was telling me, you are not worthy, only I am worthy. And i began to break down and confess His Name above every name. I began to pray for forgiveness. Many times, i used to think that im worthy, im worthy of all His love, im worthy to do greater things for Him.. But today, God was telling me, you are not worthy at all. Only through Jesus, were you made worthy. Yes Lord, You alone are Worthy, You alone are God.. And i kept crying and praying..

I went on to worship God with You Reign.. And as i began to sing this song without my guitar accompaniment, i was having yet another spiritual warfare.. And the lyrics literally touched my heart. What could stand before You, as You chose to embrace, a Cross so undeserved You took for me.. Im really underserving of the Cross. Its not the first time i’ve fallen sin to my carnal desires.. I prayed and prayed and prayed to God for forgiveness. And i literally cried out to God.. I could feel the Spiritman become alive. The flesh had numbed away, and has been defeated and conquered. The Spiritman arose from within, and i just couldnt stop crying out to God.. What could stand before You, as You chose to embrace, a Cross so undeserved You took for me.. Im undeserving and unworthy of everything Lord.. God is trying to tell me something. He has finally revealed his disciplinary side to me, not as God the Comforter, God the Redeemer, but God the Father. I completely broke down..

And the Presence of God is here now.. But God hasnt told me the comforting words that He would always say.. That everything will be alright.. Sure, i have confessed my sins at least 10 times in that 1hour, i have sought repentance. But when will I hear those precious words again?

Or could it be that God has forgivened me already, but i havent forgivened myself..?

A great day with good news, ruined by a single carnality. The power of sin is really strong. And i was still worshipping God on my guitar moments before i slept.. God, help us.

Christmas 2011

Written by Nikki Fletcher and Ryan Smith, CCC

Could it be that Your in control?
Now I see I don’t know it all,
But if You stripped it all away,
I’d still able to say.

You’re my God, none can compare.
You’re the One, You gave us our breath.
And in Your shadow I will wait,
To hear Your voice and know Your way

Glory,
All that has breath give Him glory,
We lift up our God who is always,
Beginning and End.
Let the earth sing,
We lift up our hands and exalt thee
Redeemer of all,
You have mercy,
Above all be glorified.

Worthy,
You alone are worthy,
You alone are holy,
You alone are God.

Haha. im gonna start with a song this time! This song is the song of my season!! So touched by God who is real.. Ill just give a summary of my emotions and some things that happened..

God really spoke to me this line that Pastor How said, “We dont use people to build the church, but we use the church to build people!” This line came up to me like a revelation, and no matter what i did, i couldnt get it off my mind. It just kept coming back to my head and my heart. And its so true.. Many times, we get carried away by the numbers. But really.. its the lives that are changed that matters! Im really v v v happy to see Delson change so much! So open now!! Haha. He can really be a leader!! haha. Today, he took charge to talk to a new friend from army!! And he really made a decision to come for Christmas Svc despite just touching down from Turkey and suffering from serious jet lag of 6 hrs time lapse and 11 hr flight journey. Im really really moved by all God is doing around me. I will keep sowing into Delsons life! And most imptly, i talked to him about bringing a friend for Christmas, and im glad he didnt reject the idea totally, but he considered bringing Percy to church haha. Yes yes! God. Lives will be added to your kingdom!!

For Varian, he really made time to come down for Christmas Svc! Im glad he really made this decision. I know he had a party apparently, and he was busy on the phone after svc for some time. But he still took the trouble to come for Svc, and going to the party only after svc!! Yay. He needs to keep coming back for Svc!! Pull him closer to God!! As he begins to hear more testimonies, i pray that something will move in his heart, a tugging.

For Chew, im so happy he had a desire to bring a friend, albeit unsuccessful. But really, more than the life that could be saved, i feel that to have a heart for the lost, a yearning and desire for the unsaved, that is the crucial and key thing!! This Christmas, im sure something has changed in his heart. He will bring a friend and that friend will be saved 1 day!! And the joy of the Lord will be upon him!

For Charles, i really talked alot alot alot alot of rubbish with him!! haha. I kind of like to hang out with him nowadays! Although he has a very stern outlook, inside him actually is someone who just wants to have fun and slack and chill hahah. I must really find some time to talk to him one day! Find out about his friends!! But 1 thing i must say about him is that he is such a GIVER!! So willing to give generously!! Im v v amazed and impacted by his heart. What a man..

For yongyi, i just wanna say that he is a really impressive man. Somehow, i can sense that he has many many tests in his life.. Its like God is really using him to do something big.. But somehow, i feel that hes not using spiritual strength to complete and meet his destiny. Really, just abit more prayer in his life..

This weekend, our attendance was 22. Broke through 20, but below 25. I feel that we were defeated spiritually.. But really, i prayed ALOT ALOT for this entire week haha. Every night before i slept, i went to the balcony to pray for all the friends, regulars, church, and to God. And i felt really burdened at times, especially when i didnt invite marcus during dinner to come to church.. I was super super burdened la. I completely stopped talking, and i just couldnt wait to pray and pray and pray.. And immediately after i left the train, i walked home and began to pray and pray and worship God. I felt really really burdened.. But God always redeems. I grew ALOT spiritually this Christmas.. like ALOT. By my own strength, i can accomplish nothing. And God is the ultimate strength. Draw strength from him, you can do all things.

I invited Aaron and Jerrold to church this weekend! Aaron was super aggro before and during svc la. But after the word and svc, i could feel that there was a tugging in his heart, the peace of God that filled him.. And after i prayed for him, he told me this 1 thing i will never forget. He said this, “Daniel, did you realise something just now. When u prayed for me, you didnt stammer at all?” And i was like shocked. When i thought back, yes, i didnt stutter or anything at all! But immediately after i replied him, i stammered again. lol. Really, with God, all things are possible. Jerrold was good!! haha. Will keep him close to CG!! He must know God!!

And lastly, my mom responded to altar call!! As of today, my household is saved!! God is good. Friends, really, with prayer, all things are possible. Keep praying, let faith arise, pray for a breakthrough. God will definitely move. Jesus is FOR you! Remember that!! Yayy. Party in heaven today. I just love God so much.

You Reign - Hillsong

What could stand before You
As You chose to embrace
A cross so undeserved You took for me
The weight of sin upon You
When You offered Your life
As You walked the streets of men
With fading strength

How could we live but not see
Your sacrifice
Your glory
You reign, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign
With power, and justice divine
Over everything Lord, You reign

What was Your last thought
As You drew Your last breath
Where the victory was Yours for us to see
And all will know the truth
As we live by Your grace
Every praise to You alone

See now the King of Glory
Love of God become my calling
Father I surrender all I am to You forever

Yes God. You are our King forever. You reign Forever.